That time of month
by Amy di Angelo
Summary: I thought it would be fun to write some short one-shots about Natasha on her period. Clintasha, Pepperony, Thor/Jane
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, my ninjas, I thought it would be fun to write a bunch of short one-shots about Natasha and the rest Stark Tower during her period. Reviews are appreciated, and feel free to give me some ideas.**

Natasha stormed into the kitchen late one morning. She looked in the fridge, before turning around and saying in a dangerous voice "Stark. Where are all the oranges?"

"Um, we're out of oranges. But, uh, we have grapefruit, kiwi, and apples!" Bruce answered for his sleep-deprived science buddy.

"I do not WANT grapefruit. I WANT oranges!" the spider stated. "Clint! Get me some oranges please!"

Clint, knowing what was happening, jumped up, kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and rushed to the store. He knew he had to get her more than just oranges, he had to get her Midol, tampons, pads, chocolate, and mint tea as well.

He was back in five minutes. Natasha was in her room, moaning in pain, so Clint cut them into slices and brought them to her, with a couple of pieces of super dark chocolate, a pill, and a glass of water on the side.

"Thanks" she said, swallowing the pill.

"So, on a scale of one-to-ten, how bad is it this month?" her boyfriend asked, rubbing soothing circles on her back.

"An eight. It feels like two Steve Rogers are sitting on my uterus" Natasha said, eating the Orange slices gratefully.

"Ah. Maybe Tony has a Netflix account you could use. Also, you do realize that no one other than maybe Tony and Pepper know what's going on, right?"

"Well, then go try and get them to guess. And video tape it!".


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the short chapter, this one will be much longer, I promise, my ninjas! ?**

"Uh, guys? I should probably give you the crash course in what to do when Natasha gets like this. Unfortunately, its going to happen pretty often now that we all officially live here for the next five years" Clint said, making sure not to say the wrong thing.

"Yeah, what's up? Like, she's always scary, but now she's, like, extra bitchy right now" Tony said.

Bruce Banner's face turned red. He seemed to be figuring out what was happening.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark looked extremely confused.

Thor Odinson continued eating his delicious chocolate chip cookie dough Pop-Tarts, toasted specially with Mjölnir.

"Yeah, so she's going to be watching lots of Netflix, eating oranges and chocolate, moaning in pain, getting extremely angry, and basically crying over every single little thing. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary" our favourite expert archer said.

"Oh damn it" Tony turned so pale, it looked like he hadn't had a wink of sleep for five days (which he hadn't, it had only been two) "It's ladies week?"

"What's ladies week?" Thor and Steve asked when Clint nodded gravely. He was holding his phone, having started the recording when he walked into the room.

"Natasha's hormones are going crazy, she's bleeding out of her lady parts, and we get to deal with it for a week!" Tony summed up. Then he ran to the lab with Bruce, probably on the verge of some important, but dangerous, scientific discoveries.

"What he said" Clint agreed.

Steve's face turned redder than Bruce's. Thor just nodded and went back to eating a strawberry Pop Tart, also toasted by Mjölnir.

"Also, I'm video taping this to show Nat" and, with that, the archer sprinted away to Natasha's room to show her the reactions. Steve chased after him, but Clint got to the elevator first, locking it up, totally out of breath. Steve gave up, not wanting to disturb the PMS-ing assassin. Everyone knew that doing that meant instant death, if you were lucky.

She couldn't stop laughing for literally eight minutes. Then she begged for some mint tea, which Clint got to her ASAP. He knew it helped with cramps.

During her period, Natasha was obsessed with watching Netflix shows like 'Switched at Birth' or 'Shadowhunters'. God, the Mortal Instruments books were so much better than the show/movie were! The two assassins loved to point out all the mistakes, but during her period, they just watched, laughed, and cuddled together.

Natasha, who had been up since five with cramps, fell asleep on Clint's shoulder. He carried her up to her room, and made sure she had everything she could possibly need when she woke, including: her laptop, chocolate, Mint Mentos (she always ended up craving them), lemon green tea (she put the Mentos in her tea, for some weird reason), and, of course, tampons, pads, hot water bottles, and her favourite gun, loaded, safety on (she always slept with it, just in case).

Then, he tiptoed back down to the gym to practice his archery, not that he actually needed any, but after taking care of his poor girlfriend, archery was extremely relaxing.


	3. Chapter 3

**hey, guys! Hope you enjoy and please review!**

"JARVIS! Get someone up here, now please!" Natasha screamed from the communal bathroom on the seventy-fifth floor of Avengers tower.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff" the AI said. "Is there a preference of who you would like me to call up?".

"Get Clint!"

"Master Barton is not in the building right now. Master Banner, Master Rogers, Master Stark, and Master Odinson are all available" JARVIS informed her, sounding as sorry as an AI could.

"Whoever's the closest! And, please, hurry!" the red-headed assassin wailed.

"Yes, Miss Romanoff. That would be Master Rogers. He is currently running up the stairs at 61.3 miles per hour".

'Dang it' Natasha thought. 'He'll have to do, but I don't think he even knows what a tampon is, let alone what it looks like'.

"Natasha? You okay in there?" Steve asked.

"Oh, Steve, thank god. I forgot my tampon in my room. They're in a pink box, with the word _Playtex_ in blue letter, and a green, running woman's silhouette. Please, can you get one for me?" Natasha practically begged the super soldier.

She couldn't see his face, but she imagined it was redder than normal. She was right, it honestly looked like a tomato.

"Um, yeah, I guess. JARVIS, make sure I grab the right thing, please" he said.

"And, please hurry!" Natasha added, as he ran off.

Luckily (for everyone), Steve found the small patterned package quickly, before running back upstairs. Tony and Bruce looked at him funny at first, but when they saw what he was holding, they're eyes went wide and they nodded at him in understanding.

Natasha nearly cried with relief when Steve slipped the tampon under the crack under the door. She grabbed it gratefully.

"Thanks so much, Steve! You too, JARVIS! I don't know what I would have done without you two!" The PMS-ing assassin cried.

"Any time, Tasha" was the star spangled man with a plan's reply. "It was my pleasure, Miss Romanoff" the British AI said pleasantly.

Natasha left the bathroom a couple minutes later. She texted Pepper, who was also on her period, to meet her at in the house theatre.

Then she set the kettle on and grabbed Clint's emergency 'Oh God damn it, both of the ladies in this tower are on their periods at the same time' box. It held dark chocolate, instant coffee that didn't taste like crap, Advil (Natasha's choice pain killer), Tylenol (Pepper preferred pain killer), spare underwear, mint tea bags, heat pads, hot water bottles, mint Mentos, tampons, pads, the Netflix password, and the phone numbers for pizza, sushi, Chinese food, and shawarma (that last one was Tony's idea).

"What do you want to watch this time?" Pepper asked, sitting down and breaking of a piece of chocolate. "I'm kinda in the mood for a rom-com".

"Yeah, me too. How about 'Blue is the Warmest Colour'? Or maybe 'Punch Drunk Love'? It sounds good. Rated 4.4 stars" Natasha replied. Pepper agreed to 'Blue is the Warmest Colour'. They literally could not stop laughing the entire time.

That's how Clint and Tony found them, asleep, two hours later. Clint turned to Tony.

"Leave them here, carry them to their rooms, or wake them up?".

"Carry them to their rooms. NEVER WAKE UP A GIRL OR WOMAN ON HER PERIOD, birdbrain" the billionaire playboy said, as if Clint was crazy.

"Good point" he said.

They carried their wife/girlfriend to their rooms. They didn't know it, but the small gesture meant more to the two women than anything else.


End file.
